It's Friendship Friendship: Just a Perfect Blendship

Nourishing a New Life: Yours

What does it take to sustain a life and enable the big changes--the ups and downs that are a  necessary part of life?  And what does it take to reFire--to remake oneself, to reach into those inner places of longing--if I had only, could I still, I wish I had, maybe it's not too late, I will, I must, I am going to, I am doing  it. I am recreating myself.

Painting:  "Tea Friends"    Artist:  Karen Sumati Bates

I think friendship is one of the necessities that makes such transformations possible.

The sustained care of another person. The bond that survives through thick and thin. The link that nourishes and understands.

 Lyrics of Friendship from the Broadway show "Anything Goes" are tooteling through my head.

When other Friendships are soon forgot, ours will still be hot
When other friendships are soon forgeet, ours will still be great
When other friendships are soon forgit, ours will still be it
When other friendships are up the crick ours will still be slick.

Grateful for Friendship

I've such a friendship and I am grateful for it. From our early days in college, we have seen each other through the thicks and thins of our separate lives and through the thicks and thins of our friendship. I've a screen saver photo of us on the rim of Crater Lake, a place I fell in love with in the 5th grade after doing a school project, but never had the chance to visit until some 30+ years later with my friend. We visited a truck stop in a town near Crater Lake, bought the most delicious pies--whole ones: blueberry, apple, peach, marionberry and ate pie only for the days of our trip to the Lake. Pie and palship, what could be better?

Perfect Blendship, but Not Perfect Friendship

We are a perfect blendship. We were never in the popular crowd. We were always political and brainy. We searched out the smart kids and still do. We were a striking duo: light and dark. We love to cook together and we both love to garden.

We've got wanderlust. Mine is nailed down while my kid is growing up, hers is restrained by work constraints and slaked by early wanderings. She can't carry a tune and I love to sing, but we are most of the time in tune with each other. We are godparents to each others kids and that is another layer of our blendship.

When ours is not a perfect friendship--when we argue or dissappoint each other, go through the thins, the perfect blendship of our long bond now some 40+ years, sustains us.

We don't understand each other from time to time. We have baggage that has never been discussed, and perhaps should be, but may never be...sigh... We hurt each other unknowingly--and deeply--from time to time: the blessing of our deep bond and long term understanding sustains us.

So Tend and Befriend

For Boomers who are reinventing themselves, who are refiring their long held dreams, the bonds of friendship and especially long term friendship is a source of sustenance and support. A  UCLA Study documented that women tend and befriend strategy especially in times of stress. In other words, women tend to befriend when they are stressed.

Men tend to hole up alone. And as you are venturing into new inner worlds and bringing those worlds out into the larger arena, you need to be tended, so befriend and refriend If you have not been in touch...what is stopping you?

There is the phone. There is facebook. There is google. And if you feel you must make amends--say "sorry", even if you don't know what you've done wrong. So sorry, to all my friends who I might have wronged...whatever it was, I didn't mean it.

Now can we still be friends?  I'm counting on you.

Here are some friendship links:

Women Friendship

Friendship Among Women

Comments

[Mr.Choice]

I concur with your thoughts. Splendid stuff. Wow, 40 years is surely a lot of years.
http://www.choicehow.com/2009/07/how-to-perfect-friendship.html

[Nancy Mehegan]

Virginia, You hit the proverbial "nail on the head" that relationships take work & compromise and forgiveness. And sometimes we absolutely DO NOT UNDERSTAND our friends; but that's okay. You are blessed with the long-term friendship that you describe. Great post.